I am singing in our stake women's conference this weekend. It is all quite hokey, but that is the intent. However, I cannot get past these 2 lines we sing:
Oh woman was meant to be tender
Not think with her head but her heart...
Why does this bother me so much? I'll tell you. I've never thought of myself as second-rate because I am a woman. Nothing bothers me more than male chauvenistic behavior. I hate it.
Brian and I are equally yoked, which is why we probably argue about so many things. It is hard living with someone who is truly your equal. :)
Anyway, I understand what the song is implying, but the words anger me. We knew a couple in this ward who moved away. He emailed a letter explaining that his wife had gone back to work (she had a 9 month old baby) part time and was so grateful to be using her BRAIN again. ugh.
I made a choice when Samantha was born...I chose to stay home. Brian and I moved down to LA for medical school, facing massive amounts of debt, and I stayed home. I got offered a fantastic job opportunity managing apartments, which I could do from home, and I took it. If that chance had never come, I still would have stayed home because I (and I mean we) made a choice.
I think with my head everyday. Raising my children at home does not make me dumb or ignorant or less important than my husband. Women were probably meant to be tender, but I'll keep thinking with my head AND heart, thank you very much.
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15 comments:
I think that we Moms have all encountered this one before. My fav is we were at a work party for Matt and I was asked "So what do you do" I told them that I stay home with our 2 year old and 6 month old. I got an "oh." Then they turned and talked to someone else. Nothing to say to the woman who does nothing!!! Let's just say I took a breath and thought better of saying anything. Thankfully for Matts job. BTW who wrote the song. . . woman or man and should you not sing for a protest out of principal!! Love ya Holly
The best response I've heard from a stay-at-home mom to the question, "And what do you do?" is:
"I am socializing two homo sapiens in the dominant values of the Judeo-Christian tradition in order that they might be instruments for the transformation of the social order into the teleologically-prescribed utopia inherent in the eschaton."
Keep thinking with your head, Holly. I wish more women did.
Thanks Bethany. I'll need to pull that one out next time I get asked. :)
ugh that song is terrible, holly. please don't sing those two lines! or at least the second line. isn't anyone else in the choir bothered?
Well, even though I do work part time, I think staying home is harder work. We definitely have to think with our heads to find ways to entertain our kids. Whatever, I'm not going to this conference anyway!! (really it's because Jeremy is coming home for the weekend)
AMEN, sister! Your words ring loud and true, and I'm right there with you!
camillion
I didn't know that's what you were singing up there! I'm not sure if I even want to clog anymore...:)
I can't wait to be part of that performance...
I concur! I thought that logic would only exist in places like LA where, we were the only Mommy's at the park hanging with all the other Nanny's. It's rampant in Dallas too. I am actually not opposed to women working if they truly feel that is best, but don't think I am not smart for choosing to stay home.
Oh and remember SC would allow us to increase our loan amounts after adopting the kids only if we put them in child care and I went back to work. Where's the logic in that? How about I be the child care and you pay me....their Mother!
but what do it know...i'm just a housewife i need sumwon to save me frum my domestick dumbness!
Gets me so irrate!
That part of the song is very annoying! Thankfully, I listen to my head rather than follow my heart sometimes. Otherwise, my kids would have been thrown out the window!
Well I am totally looking forward to the conference now! We all know that Holly is very honest with her feelings... So guess whose face I will be watching when the choir sings?
right on, holly! love you.
I love this post. It totally made my day, and I love Beth's response. I'm definitely going to have to use that one next time I get asked.
Yeesh. I thought they said "think with their head AND their heart." I think I'll just keep pretending they did . ..
Kimberly,
We did say that...we changed the words after I posted this.
Holly, you rock! I have always appreciated your directness! We all need more people like you around! I also stay home with kids and I really believe that it actually takes more brain and heart power than it would to work on the outside! Becky
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