I should be posting about the vacations we have just been on, but I will do a little of this first. I covet. I am a sinner. I know we are not supposed to covet, that it is so important that it made it into the TEN commandments, but all the same, I do it.
Every since Brian and I got married, I looked at other people's apartments with envy. I like their furniture better, I love the way they decorated, etc. It is sometimes hard to visit our friends who are moving into their second, better homes and then come home to our 2 bedroom plus a study apartment. Ugh. It annoys me that I am bugged by it at all.
I not only covet things, I covet careers. I covet Brian's career. I sometimes wish it were me who could be helping people like he does. It's cool. I wonder what my life could be like if I owned a dance studio, if I was a famous author, if I were a physical therapist, an attorney, etc. I wonder about that stuff a lot. Probably too much.
I love the idea of photography, and I am reading lots about it. But my pictures are oddly similar to what they were before. Lame. There is not enough time to learn what I want and do what I want. Even writing that feels selfish...I guess it is good there is reality.
It is getting late, and my kids are needing baths, teeth brushed, books read, and good night kisses. That is my reality for now. I'll have to covet tomorrow. Or maybe I'll grow up instead. Here's hoping.
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3 comments:
I hear you, Holly. There are so, so many things I'd like to learn and do. Deep down I know none of it could be better than all the Joy giggles and tickles I enjoyed this afternoon, but sometimes I wish I could just do it all now instead of having to choose and wait.
Ah well, eternity and omniscience will be here before we know it. :)
I am convinced that your waiting for the first home will produce and incredible one when you get there. And you probably won't get stuck buying at the top of the market and watching your value sail downward. :)
I understand what you mean about doing something. I am dying to do photography - but even the little I have been doing I find gobbles up way too much time. I usually think I'm going to sit down for 15 minutes to edit a few photos, and suddenly 3 hours have gone by and my kids are getting hungry. I sometimes wonder if it will all have to wait (with the exception of family and friends photos) until all children are in school.
p.s. Brandon IS my brother! ;)
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